Expect Your Blessings in 2009

A new year is the ultimate fresh start.  It's the new car smell.  It's the extra swagger in your step when you don a new pair of shoes.  It's the deep breath you take after a risky, new hair style unearths an aura buried deep within you. It is also important to note, 2009 is the threshold that many of our friends and family members did not cross.  I believe it is our generational and dutiful obligation to make 2009 our best year yet.  

In the sacred footsteps of 2008, I am not making New Year's Resolutions.  I refuse to give into the pressure of resolving all my issues for 3 weeks every 365 days.  Last year, instead of New Year's resolutions, I claimed certain blessings.  I prayed that I would be blessed in my finances and my relationships.  I didn't ask for anything specific--only that I would be blessed.  I figured the universe knew what I needed.  Immediately after praying for my blessings, I began to expect them.  I thought about my blessings all the time.  I dreamed about them, and I told anyone willing to listen how I was going to attract these changes into my life.  I celebrated them long before I received them.

Unfortunately, my convictions were sometimes challenged with doubt.  And in my bleakest moments, my faith wavered.  One particular evening stands out in my mind as the worst.  As I was driving home after work, I could barely see the road because the tears were coming so fast and so furiously.  I wanted to give up.  As I sat stuck in traffic, I felt stuck in my life.  Nothing had changed. I was still in debt.  I was still single.  It seemed that no matter how much I tried to change my attitude, the landscape of my life remained the same.  I gave into a profound pity party and cried the entire way home; this was one of the worst moments in my life.  The helplessness was deeper than I'd ever felt before. That night while laying in bed I heard in my spirit, "your blessings are coming.  Have faith.  As long as you have life, you have the ability to change your situation."

The next morning, I felt relief from the grief.  As I cleared the eye of the storm, I realized that the storm was the blessing.  It started with one key insight: I was surrounded by my blessings, but I didn't know it because they looked different than what I had expected them to be.  For instance, I didn't win the lottery or find a basket of money sitting on my door step.  But what I did find was peace with my situation and the discernment that earthly possessions cannot possess my soul.  I now understand that there is spiritual gain through earthly loss.

I also found peace with being single.  I embraced it.  I took myself out on dates.  I went to the movies, parks, concerts--wherever I wanted--alone.  I found the courage to approach men I thought were attractive.  I went to places I knew dripped with single men and I mingled.  I didn't force it, I merely opened the door and waited to see what would happen. 

Once I knew there was another way--I didn't have to "survive" being single--I could love it, I started writing a book about it.  Then, I started this blog in hopes of spreading the word about being single and happy.  That's when irony set in--I met someone who took the single out of my being happy.  He and I both knew after our first date that we would be together for a long time.  I knew instantly that he was the partner I desired.  He is smart, charming, adventurous, caring, sexy and faithful.  He is everything I want wrapped up in a package that is perfectly tailored to my preferences.   

I think the moral of the story is pretty clear.  Expect your blessings in 2009, and expect them to look different than you imagine.   

Comments

[A..W.]

So Bee your no longer single?

[taylleah]

Dear Bee: Wow! I share many of your sentiments and experiences. In fact one of my promises to myself has been "to be happy alone until i am happily re-married." Last year was filled with many unexpected blessings, including a new relationship. So I am a believer in (1) staying grateful and (2) staying out of my own way, in order for God to have His perfect timing...I really enjoy your blog and hope you won't leave the game now that you are no longer single!...p.s. the natural "do" looks great.